Thursday, December 20, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:
Special thanks to Ganesh Maski
STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:
BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN: You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN: NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE: You tell a man something; it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend: "...And are you sure you love me and no one else?"
Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil: "The moon"...
Teacher: "Why?"
Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil: "A teacher".
4) Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer: "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot!"
Sam: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Sam: "She's a woman".
7) Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student: "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher: �Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher: �George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
One Student: �Because George still had the axe in h is hand."
STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:
BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me...
GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN: You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN: NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE: You tell a man something; it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND: You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend: "...And are you sure you love me and no one else?"
Boyfriend: "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil: "The moon"...
Teacher: "Why?"
Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil: "A teacher".
4) Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer: "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot!"
Sam: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Sam: "She's a woman".
7) Tom: "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student: "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher: "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam: "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher: �Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher: �George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
One Student: �Because George still had the axe in h is hand."
HOW TO SPOT A SRI LANKAN
HOW TO SPOT A SRI LANKAN
You know that you are definitely a Sri Lankan if:
1. Everything you eat is savoured in garlic, onion and
chilies.
2. You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course
aluminum foil.
3. You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by
pressing your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise
like,
tshck, tshck!
4. You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at
the
Airport.
5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party, and think it's
normal.
6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service
missed
to frank.
7. Your toilet has a plastic bowl next to the commode.
8. You name your children in rhymes (example, Honey & Money,
Sita
& Gita, Ram & Shyam.)
9. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close
to
their real names.
10. You take Sri Lankan snacks anywhere it says "No Food
Allowed"
11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving
someone's
house.
12. You load up the family car with as many people as
possible.
13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house
whether
it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
14. Your parents tell you to not care about what your friends
think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what
the
other "Uncles And Aunties" will think.
15. Owning a rice cooker is a top priority.
16. You live with your parents even if you are 40 years old.
(And
they like it that way).
17. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in
knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel it's your
duty to spread the word.
18. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
19. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they
ask
if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
20. When your parents meets a Sri Lankan for the first time
and
talk for a few minutes, you soon discover they are your
relatives.
21. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign
countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream
at
the top of their lungs while talking.
22. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away
from getting dirty but the sheet on your bed has not seen water
for
months!
23. It is embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600
people.
24. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the
matrimonial
no matter what she looks like.
25. You have really enjoyed reading this mail because you know
some, or most of them apply to you
You know that you are definitely a Sri Lankan if:
1. Everything you eat is savoured in garlic, onion and
chilies.
2. You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course
aluminum foil.
3. You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by
pressing your tongue against them and making a peculiar noise
like,
tshck, tshck!
4. You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at
the
Airport.
5. You arrive one or two hours late to a party, and think it's
normal.
6. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service
missed
to frank.
7. Your toilet has a plastic bowl next to the commode.
8. You name your children in rhymes (example, Honey & Money,
Sita
& Gita, Ram & Shyam.)
9. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close
to
their real names.
10. You take Sri Lankan snacks anywhere it says "No Food
Allowed"
11. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving
someone's
house.
12. You load up the family car with as many people as
possible.
13. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house
whether
it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
14. Your parents tell you to not care about what your friends
think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what
the
other "Uncles And Aunties" will think.
15. Owning a rice cooker is a top priority.
16. You live with your parents even if you are 40 years old.
(And
they like it that way).
17. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in
knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel it's your
duty to spread the word.
18. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
19. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they
ask
if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
20. When your parents meets a Sri Lankan for the first time
and
talk for a few minutes, you soon discover they are your
relatives.
21. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign
countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream
at
the top of their lungs while talking.
22. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them away
from getting dirty but the sheet on your bed has not seen water
for
months!
23. It is embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600
people.
24. You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the
matrimonial
no matter what she looks like.
25. You have really enjoyed reading this mail because you know
some, or most of them apply to you
VERY INTERESTING AND INFORMATIVE THINGS
VERY INTERESTING AND INFORMATIVE THINGS
| 1 | If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side |
| 2 | If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off. |
| 3 | Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. |
| 4 | Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it. |
| 5 | The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'. |
| 6 | The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal. |
| 7 | The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing. |
| 8 | The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night. |
| 9 | Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day. |
| 10 | The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. |
| 11 | Dalmatians are born without spots. |
| 12 | Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. |
| 13 | The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings) |
| 14 | Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left |
| 15 | The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids |
| 16 | The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee |
| 17 | Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks |
| 18 | The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones |
| 19 | Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die |
| 20 | Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart |
| 21 | The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate |
| 22 | When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red |
| 23 | When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red |
| 24 | The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor |
| 25 | The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney |
| 26 | Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros |
| 27 | Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of |
| 28 | It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it |
| 29 | The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples |
| 30 | There are 1,792 steps to the top of the |
| 31 | The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting |
| 32 | Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death |
| 33 | It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body |
| 34 | The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets |
| 35 | Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game |
| 36 | The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air |
| 37 | Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die |
| 38 | In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is |
| 39 | Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself." |
| 40 | The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot |
| 41 | Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair |
| 42 | The average person laughs 13 times a day |
| 43 | Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil) |
| 44 | Women blink nearly twice as much as men |
| 45 | German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog |
| 46 | Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump |
| 47 | Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound |
| 48 | Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in |
| 49 | If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause. |
| 50 | The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!! |
Self Management
Self Management
You are responsible for everything that happens in your life. Learn to accept total responsibility for yourself. If you do not manage yourself, then you are letting others have control of your Life. These tips will help "you" manage "you."
Here is a list of things that help you in self management and which will in turn lead you to the path of success: -
-) Look at every new opportunity as an exciting and new-life experience.
-) Be a professional who exhibits self-confidence and self-assurance in your potential to complete any task.
-) Agree with yourself in advance that you will have a good attitude toward the upcoming task.
-) Frequently ask, "Is what I am doing right now moving me toward my goals?"
-) Do it right the first time and you will not have to take time later to fix it.
-) Accept responsibility for your job successes and failures. Do not look for a scapegoat.
-) Do not view things you do as a "job." View all activities as a challenge.
-) Use your subconscious mind by telling it to do what you do want. Instead of telling yourself, "I can't do that very well," say, "I can do this very well."-) Give yourself points for completing tasks on your "to-do" list in priority order. When you reach 10 points, reward yourself.
-) Practice your personal beliefs. It may be helpful each morning to take 15 minutes to gather your thoughts and say a prayer.
-) Make a commitment to show someone a specific accomplishment on a certain date. The added urgency will help you feel motivated to have it done.
-) Practice self-determination, wanting to do it for yourself.
-) Believe that you can be what you want to be.
-) Never criticize yourself as having a weakness. There is no such thing. You are only talking about a present undeveloped skill or part of yourself that if you so chose, you can change. You do not have any weakness, only untapped potential.
-) Be pleasant all the time-no matter what the situation.
-) Challenge yourself to do things differently than you have in the past. It provides new ideas and keeps you interested.
-) Talk to yourself. A self-talk using positive affirmation is something that is common among all great achievers. They convince themselves that they can accomplish their goals.
-) Create your own "motivation board" by putting up notes of things you need to do on a bulletin board or special wall space. It is an easily visible way to see what you need to work on. When an item is done, remove the note. Also keep your goals listed and pictured on your board.
-) Stay interested in what you are doing. Keep looking for what is interesting in your work. Change your perspective and look at it as someone outside your job would,
-) Establish personal incentives and rewards to help maintain your own high enthusiasm and performance level.
-) Practice your personal beliefs. It may be helpful each morning to take 15 minutes to gather your thoughts and say a prayer.
-) Make a commitment to show someone a specific accomplishment on a certain date. The added urgency will help you feel motivated to have it done.
-) Practice self-determination, wanting to do it for yourself.
-) Believe that you can be what you want to be.
-) Never criticize yourself as having a weakness. There is no such thing. You are only talking about a present undeveloped skill or part of yourself that if you so chose, you can change. You do not have any weakness, only untapped potential.
-) Be pleasant all the time-no matter what the situation.
-) Challenge yourself to do things differently than you have in the past. It provides new ideas and keeps you interested.
-) Talk to yourself. A self-talk using positive affirmation is something that is common among all great achievers. They convince themselves that they can accomplish their goals.
-) Create your own "motivation board" by putting up notes of things you need to do on a bulletin board or special wall space. It is an easily visible way to see what you need to work on. When an item is done, remove the note. Also keep your goals listed and pictured on your board.
-) Stay interested in what you are doing. Keep looking for what is interesting in your work. Change your perspective and look at it as someone outside your job would,
-) Establish personal incentives and rewards to help maintain your own high enthusiasm and performance level.
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