Thursday, November 29, 2007

vivek comedy

Koundamani Tamil comedy

Vadivelu comedy from the winner movie- part 3

Vadivelu Latest Comedy-Muruga

Koundamani Tamil comedy - Part 1

Vadivelu Comedy

Prabhu Deva Charlie Chaplin

Vadivel Tamil Comedy

Vadivelu comedy from the winner movie- part 1

Mani Ratnam's Guru (Tamil) Trailer

AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION

AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
Student does not answer.

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
Student has no answer.

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? (The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

Some very Good and Very bad things ...

Some very Good and Very bad things ...

The most destructive habit......................Worry
The greatest Joy...............................Giving
The greatest loss................Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work...............Helping others
The ugliest personality trait.............Selfishness
The most endangered species.........Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource...............Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm"..........Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.................Fear
The most effective sleeping pill........Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease............Excuses
The most powerful force in life..................Love
The most dangerous pariah..................A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer........The brain
The worst thing to be without................... Hope
The deadliest weapon.......................The tongue
The two most power-filled words..............."I Can"
The greatest asset..............................Faith
The most worthless emotion..................Self-pity
The most beautiful attire......................SMILE!
The most prized possession................Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication.....Prayer
The most contagious spirit.................Enthusiasm
The most important thing in life..................GOD

An egg

An egg

Eggs could protect against heart disease, cancer and eye problems, says a new study disapproving the assumption that eggs were bad for cholesterol levels.

Bruce Griffin of the University of Surrey analysed 30 egg studies and found that people who consumed one or more eggs a day were at no more risk of suffering from cardiovascular disease than non-egg eaters, reported the online edition of Daily Mail.

Egg yolks contain cholesterol, but nutritionists now know it is the saturated fats in food, not dietary cholesterol, that raises blood cholesterol levels, a risk factor for heart attacks.

"To view eggs solely in terms of their dietary cholesterol content is to ignore the potential benefits of eggs on coronary risk factors, including obesity and diabetes," Griffin says, describing eggs as super food.

One egg provides 13 essential nutrients, all in the yolks. It contains the nutrients lutein and zeaxanthin, which could help to prevent or even reverse the age-related eye problem macular degeneration (MD).

Egg whites contain albumen, an important source of protein, and no fat, the researchers say.

Eggs are an excellent source of B vitamins, which are needed for vital functions in the body, and also provide good quantities of vitamin A, essential for normal growth and development, the researchers said.

An egg's vitamin E content protects against heart disease and some cancers; there's also vitamin D, which promotes mineral absorption and good bone health.

Eggs are rich in iodine, for making thyroid hormones, and phosphorus, essential for healthy bones and teeth.

Girls who eat an egg a day in their teens may give themselves additional protection against breast cancer in later life.

It is the essential nutrients in eggs, such as amino acids, vitamins and minerals that may be responsible for this protection.

Eggs are also low in calories - a large egg contains only 75 calories and 5 grams of fat - and other research suggests they can help you lose weight.

Health experts used to recommend a maximum egg consumption of three a week to avoid a rise in blood cholesterol levels. But since evidence has shown that it is saturated fat intake that affects cholesterol, advice has changed.

Now Britain's government's Foods Standards Agency (FSA) says there is no limit as long as they form part of a healthy, balanced diet.

By Signing Style

By Signing Style

SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life".

TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fiancées as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others.

SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN
These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people.

NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN
These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too.

RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN
These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never say anything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the other person of what he is talking of.

RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN
These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These people change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes its direction of flow. They never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong. You can win them just by flattering them.

SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS
These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. But these seems to think a lot and may get angry very soon.

WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN
These persons are very kind hearted, can adjust themselves to any environment & to the person they are talking. These persons are very firm on their views & posses a lot of will power.

Never Lick Envelopes

Never Lick Envelopes

A woman was working in a post office in California.

One day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady found a cut on her tongue. A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out!!!!

There were cockroach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist...

This is a true story reported on CNN

Andy Hume wrote:

Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe the....things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven't licked an envelope for years!" I used to work for a print shop (32 years ago) and we were told NEVER to lick the envelopes. I never understood why until I had to go into storage and pull out 2500 envelopes that were already printed and saw several squads of cockroaches roaming around inside a couple of boxes with eggs everywhere. They eat the glue on the envelopes.

Do You Know About These?

Do You Know About These?

1. What programming language is GOOGLE developed in?

2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?

3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?

4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?

5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"

6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?

7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot-India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?

8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?

9. From what four word ex-pression does the word `goodbye` derive?

10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?

11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?

12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?

13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?

14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe?

15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore?

16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican)?

17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?


Answers



1. Google is written in Asynchronous java-script and XML, or its acronym Ajax.

2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle

3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports

4. Satellite Television Asian Region

5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India

6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen

7. That match was abandoned after ppl heard the news of indira gandhi being killed.

8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one is for Bangladesh-(Amar
Sonar Bangla)

9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.

10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.

11. South Korea.

12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR, as it was known during the cold war)

13. Geoffrey Boycott

14. John Traicos

15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln

16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa.

17. Polo

New style of writing a love letter

New style of writing a love letter

My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) , after WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much, I dare to say that you are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and my AIWA (Pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (Better than the best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh) feeling for me.


I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).

If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better). They will feel MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye) . For our marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone's Invited) and after marriage we'll be WHIRLPOOL
(U and ME - The World's best homemakers)

Trust in God who's always NOKIA (Connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made for each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy) and PARX (Always Comfortable).
So never forget me. Ok bye!

I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil mange more).

LG
(Digitally Yours)!!!!!
bye bye

The Correct Way of Eating Fruits

The Correct Way of Eating Fruits

We all think eating fruits means just buying fruits, cutting it and just popping it into our mouths. It's not so easy as you think. It's important to know how and when to eat.

What is the correct way of eating fruits?

1. IT MEANS NOT EATING FRUITS AFTER YOUR MEALS!

2. FRUITS SHOULD BE EATEN IN AN EMPTY STOMACH .

If you eat fruit like that, it will play a major role to detoxify your system, supplying you with a great deal of energy for weight loss and other life activities.

FRUIT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD

Let's say you eat two slices of bread and then a slice of fruit. The slice of fruit is ready to go straight through the stomach into the intestines, but it is prevented from doing so.

In the meantime the whole meal rots and ferments and turns to acid. The minute the fruit comes into contact with the food in the stomach and digestive juices, the entire mass of food begins to spoil.

So please eat your fruits in an empty stomach or before your meals!

You have heard people complaining - every time I eat watermelon I burp, when I eat durian my stomach bloats up, when I eat banana I feel like running to the toilet etc - actually all this will not arise if you eat the fruit in an empty stomach. The fruit mixes with the putrefying other food and produces gas and hence you will bloat!

Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, dark circles under the eyes all these will not happen if you take fruits in an empty stomach.

There is no such thing as some fruits like orange and lemon are acidic because all fruits become alkaline in our body, according to Dr. Herbert Sehlton who did a research on this matter.

If you have mastered the correct way of eating fruits, you have the secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

When you need to drink fruit juice - drink only fresh fruit juice, NOT from the cans. Don't even drink juice that has been heated up. Don't eat cooked fruits because you don't get the nutrients at all. You only get to taste.

So stop making 'goreng pisang' or 'durian porridge' if you want nutrients. Cooking destroys all the vitamins.

But eating a whole fruit is better than drinking the juice. If you should drink the juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly, because you must let it mix with your saliva before swallowing it.

You can go on a 3-day fruit fast to cleanse your body. Just eat fruits and drink fruit juice throughout the 3 days and you will be surprised when your friends tell you how radiant you look!

During the fruit fast you can eat fruits, prepared in salad forms and make it more interesting.


LETTER to BOSS...

LETTER to BOSS...

A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see
a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client side on a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-

Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucritive and attractive for me to turn down.

I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you.

I am sorry but I had no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".

I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Of course, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company (since I am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City.

Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me.


Last but not the least. I also have the 7000 Rs entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.

I thank you for that in advance, and assure you that I will surely invest them wisely (but not in your company's stocks of course).

Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company.

Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.

Your faithful employee,



At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling,

the Boss read:


PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our Office to discuss this.

My respect and Best Regards to you!

TRUE FRIEND

TRUE FRIEND

" When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. "

Bananas

Bananas

This is interesting. After Reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.Bananas

. Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression

: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS : Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia : High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure : This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure.
So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke

Brain Power

: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation : High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help
restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers : One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels,while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn : Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness : Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites :

Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves

: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system. Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady

Ulcers : The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal
disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control:

Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal = Affective Disorder (SAD) : Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6,B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress : Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the
heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes : According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine,"eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

BE SAFE !

BE SAFE !

A 10 year old boy, had eaten pineapple about 15 days back,and fell sick,from the day he had eaten. Later when he had his Health check done... doctors diagnosed that he had AIDS.
His parents couldn't believe it...

Then the entire family under went a Checkup...none of them suffered from
Aids. So the doctors checked again with the Boy. If he had eaten out...The boy said "yes". He had pineapple that evening.

Immediately a group from Mallya hospital went to the pineapple vendor to check. They found the pineapple seller had a cut on his finger
while cutting the pineapple , his blood had spread into the fruit. When they had his blood checked...the guy was suffering from AIDS .....

But he himself was NOT aware.

Unfortunately the boy is suffering from it now.

Please take care while u eat on the road side.


Kalavathi Dewakumar
Customer Services Officer
Immigration & Checkpoints Authority
Tel: 63916170
Fax: 6294 8563

Dear Tech Support:

.......

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from
Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife version 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,



A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)


___________________________________


REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM.
.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application
"Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command
C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program
Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

The Ten Commandments of Egoless Programming

The Ten Commandments of Egoless Programming

Someone recently cited this excellent builder.com article which outlines The Ten Commandments of Egoless Programming, as originally established in Jerry Weinberg's book The Psychology of Computer Programming:

1. Understand and accept that you will make mistakes. The point is to find them early, before they make it into production. Fortunately, except for the few of us developing rocket guidance software at JPL, mistakes are rarely fatal in our industry, so we can, and should, learn, laugh, and move on.


2. You are not your code. Remember that the entire point of a review is to find problems, and problems will be found. Don't take it personally when one is uncovered.

3. No matter how much "karate" you know, someone else will always know more. Such an individual can teach you some new moves if you ask. Seek and accept input from others, especially when you think it's not needed.

4. Don't rewrite code without consultation. There's a fine line between "fixing code" and "rewriting code." Know the difference, and pursue stylistic changes within the framework of a code review, not as a lone enforcer.

5. Treat people who know less than you with respect, deference, and patience. Nontechnical people who deal with developers on a regular basis almost universally hold the opinion that we are prima donnas at best and crybabies at worst. Don't reinforce this stereotype with anger and impatience.

6. The only constant in the world is change. Be open to it and accept it with a smile. Look at each change to your requirements, platform, or tool as a new challenge, not as some serious inconvenience to be fought.

7. The only true authority stems from knowledge, not from position. Knowledge engenders authority, and authority engenders respect?so if you want respect in an egoless environment, cultivate knowledge.

8. Fight for what you believe, but gracefully accept defeat. Understand that sometimes your ideas will be overruled. Even if you do turn out to be right, don't take revenge or say, "I told you so" more than a few times at most, and don't make your dearly departed idea a martyr or rallying cry.

9. Don't be "the guy in the room." Don't be the guy coding in the dark office emerging only to buy cola. The guy in the room is out of touch, out of sight, and out of control and has no place in an open, collaborative environment.

10. Critique code instead of people?be kind to the coder, not to the code.As much as possible, make all of your comments positive and oriented to improving the code. Relate comments to local standards, program specs, increased performance, etc

HE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

HE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

A man was praying to god.
He said, "God?"
God responded, "Yes?"
And the Guy said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead", God said.
"God, what is a million years to you?"

God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
The man wondered.
Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
So the man said, "God can I have a penny?"
And God cheerfully said,
"Sure...just a second."

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELLPHONE COULD...

.......

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELLPHONE COULD...

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it: -

*I*

*The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112.* If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out. **

*II*

*Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car? Does your car have remote keys?* this may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone.

Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

*III*

Subject: Hidden Battery power Imagine your cell battery is very low, you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery.

To activate, press the keys *3370# your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

*IV*

How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone:

* # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.

If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

PLANT NOW AND REAP TOMORROW

PLANT NOW AND REAP TOMORROW

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory .
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.

LIFE THROUGH THE EYES OF THE ALPHABET

LIFE THROUGH THE EYES OF THE ALPHABET

A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the
way.

E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about
yourself.

F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small
inkling of what the future holds.

J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters...

.......

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters...

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.


It only takes a minute to read this...


A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.


RECOGNIZING A STROKE


Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T *Ask the person to TALK . to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE
(Coherently) (i.e. . . It is sunny out today)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

{NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke}

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the doctor immediately and describe the symptoms.

SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE AND BE A HERO TODAY !

Subject: Chocolate Lovers beware!

.......

Subject: Chocolate Lovers beware!

ELL ANY BODY WHO HAS KIDS OR LIKE TO EAT CADBURY!!!!!
DO NOT PURCHASE CADBURY CHOCOLATES NOW !!!!!!!!

WHY ?? READ BELOW

IMPORTANCE NOTICE !


PLEASE TELL ALL YOU KNOW THAT CADBURY CHOCOLATES HAVE BEEN WITHDRAWN FROM
EUROPE BECAUSE OF CONTAMINATION WITH A RARE STRAIN OF SALMONELLA(BACTERIA)
AND OF COURSE WHAT
BETTER PLACE TO DUMP THESE WASTED PRODUCTS THAN THE
THIRD
WORLD. THE CHOCOLATES WILL BE SOLD IN THESE MARKETS FOR CHEAPER PRICES.
TELL
ANY BODY WHO HAS KIDS OR LIKE TO EAT CADBURY!!!!!

DO
NOT PURCHASE CADBURY CHOCOLATES NOW !!!!!!!!

TO VERIFY, CHECK THESE:
<
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/5112470.stm >
<
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/healthnews.php?newsid=45887>